Catalyst
by greysantomyyyyyxxxxxx
Summary: AU. Meredith Grey, the new surgical intern at Seattle Grace Hospital, is about to cause quite a stir in the lives of three attendings. Updated with chapter 8!
1. Notorious

_**Catalyst **_

_**Author's note: Insomnia is quite the burden but while lying awake I came up with the idea of this fic. It's completely AU. The plot and background will slowly unfold as the story continues. Enjoy and review.**_

_**Disclaimer: These characters are not mine. **_

Meredith Grey closes her locker as she pins her nametag on her white lab coat. She jumps as she sees a woman staring at her leaning against the locker.

"Do you normally lurk behind people's locker doors?" Meredith snaps visibly flustered by the surprise. She hates surprises especially when she is already a bundle of nerves.

"So your Ellis Grey's daughter. I thought you'd be bigger?" the woman says.

"Excuse me?"

"Ellis Grey's your mom, right?"

"Um yeah, and who the hell are you?" Meredith says very confused by the situation.

"Cristina Yang."

"Nice to meet you Dr. Yang. I'm Meredith Grey but I guess you already knew that." Meredith says as she clips her pager and cell phone to her waist and motions for Cristina to walk with her.

Cristina pulls open the door for Meredith as she continues to talk. "Did you know we're the only two female interns this year?"

Meredith shrugs as they continue to walk. "It figures. You're with the Nazi, Dr. Bailey, right?"

"Yeah I am. Did you hear about Dr. Sloan?"

"Who?" Meredith asks having not ever heard the name before.

"Mark Sloan is the go to plastic surgeon on the West Coast even more sought after than those guys in LA. Rumor has it that every year he sleeps with one of the interns. He's pretty infamous actually."

"Well this year it's just you and me so I guess we'll have to ruin his little tradition."

Cristina stops walking. Meredith turns around. "What?"

"Have you seen him?"

Meredith shakes her head no. Cristina laughs and starts walking again. "Were you not at the mixer last night."

"Nope I didn't have the time or the desire to attend an awkward social function with a group of strangers I'm going to have to spend the majority of the next 7 years with. I passed. Do you know where we are supposed to meet our resident?"

"Right here," an angry voice says.

Meredith and Cristina's heads snap to look at where the voice came from. They turn around to see a short, pregnant woman glaring at them.

"You're late." She says angrily.

Cristina looks down. "I'm sorry Naz… I mean Dr. Bailey."

Meredith opens her mouth and tries to think of an adequate excuse but no words come out.

"They were with me Miranda," a man says as he walks over to the group of women.

"How convenient Dr. Sloan."

Mark eyes flash to their badges. "Dr. Grey is working with me on a case and Dr. Chang…"

Cristina coughs, "It's Yang sir."

"Dr. Yang was joining Dr. Grey and I in the discussion about the case. I was just on my way to tell you."

Dr. Bailey rolls her eyes. "Fine Dr. Sloan. Meredith go with him. Yang you're on sutures."

Cristina's eyes widen. "But Mer…"

"Do you have a problem Yang?"

Cristina manages to compose herself and bite her tongue. "No ma'am."

"That's what I thought." Miranda turns around and begins to walk away. She stops and faces the three doctors. "He's not always going to be around to save you ass." She swears at them under her breath and walks away.

"Thank you." Meredith says to Mark gratefully.

"Yeah thanks." Cristina says sounding a little more than pissed that she's stuck on sutures and Meredith gets to work on a surgical case.

"No problem. Yang you better get down there before she chews you ass out." Cristina glares at Meredith who gives her an uneasy smile as she watches her walk away.

Meredith turns to look at Mark Sloan. Mark extends her hand out to her. "I'm Mark."

"Nice to meet you Dr. Sloan I'm Meredith."

"Dr. Sloan? What's with the formalities I just saved your ass from the Nazi."

Meredith laughs. "Oh I know your kind. That's not the only ass you were thinking about."

"You are aware that I'm your boss, right?"

"I know all the more reason I'm not sleeping with you. What's this case we're working on?" Meredith asks as she walks towards the elevator pressing the up button.

Mark follows her to the elevator and laughs at her comment. "I like you Grey, I can already tell."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Meredith closes the door to the patient's room as she and Mark exit the room.

"Mr. Sazs is a riot. I like him." Mark says partly to Meredith partly to himself as he hands Meredith Mr. Sazs's chart.

"He seems…." Meredith begins trying to think of the word correct word to describe Mr. Sazs but ultimately settles on "interesting."

Mark laughs to himself. "Yeah he is. Just check on him through out the day. Answer any questions he might have. His surgery is scheduled for tomorrow morning. I could even let you scrub in. I mean if…"

Meredith eyes flash with anger. "Seriously Dr. Sloan."

"Mark," he corrects her.

"Dr. Sloan," she says this time a bit louder.

Mark grows a bit more serious. "I was going to say if you wanted to. I know this is a cosmetics case and if you wanted to switch to a case that's a little more interesting I could have that arranged. Damn Grey what makes you so sure that I want to sleep with you?"

Meredith flushes feeling slightly embarrassed. "People say things."

"And what kind of things do people say about me?" Mark asks leaning back on the nurses' station.

"That you a pompous ass who thinks entirely too much of himself," a man with wavy dark hair says as he walks behind Mark and puts his hand on his shoulder. "Hi I'm Derek Shepherd head of neurology and you must be an intern." Derek extends his hand to her as he flashes her a sexy smile.

Meredith can feel herself blushing as she meets his eyes. His penetrating gaze makes her uncomfortable so she shifts her eyes to the floor. She extends her hand to meet his. "It's nice to meet you Dr. Shepherd."

Derek holds onto Meredith hand and Meredith is forced to look him in the eye again. There is something different in the way he looks at her Meredith can't figure out what but she knew it made her uncomfortable. "Call me Derek." She retracts her hand.

"I'd prefer Dr. Shepherd."

Derek shrugs. "Might I know the name of the intern who's bold enough to call my best friend out on his bullshit?" Derek says as he takes a step backwards and smiles at Meredith and Mark.

Meredith realizes that she hadn't introduced herself to Derek. "Oh hi I'm…"

"Oh, what am I missing," a beautiful red head says as she walks besides Derek.

"Nothing I was talking to Mark and…"

Meredith extends her hand to the woman. "Hi, I'm Meredith Grey."

"Nice to meet you. Addison Shepherd," Addison says as she shakes Meredith's hand.

Meredith is surprised to feel her heart sink when she makes the connection. "The two of you are married?"

"Yep." Derek says as he slips his arm around his wife's waist. She shifts uncomfortably.

"Eleven years least month." Addison kisses Derek on the cheek. A somewhat forced looking smile spreads across his face.

"They are the envied couple around here," Mark says as he rolls his eyes.

"Shut up." Addison steps forward teasingly hits him on the shoulder. "Dr. Grey you have to watch out for Mark he's quite the notorious character."

Derek's pager vibrates on his hip. He looks down at the page. I have to go check on this. Mark you still owe me a beer, don't think I'm going to forget. I'll see you at home Addison." Derek says as he kisses her on the cheek. "It was nice to meet you Dr. Grey."

"It was nice to meet you too Dr. Shepherd." Meredith says and smiles at him as he walks away.

Addison looks at the time on her pager. I better get going too. "It was nice to meet you Meredith, and seriously watch out for him."

"Hey!" Mark cries out to Addison as she walks away.

Meredith laughs as she leans her back on the nurses' counter next to Mark.

"What's going on with those two?" Meredith asks.

"How much time do you have?"

Meredith smiles at him. "That's what I thought. How long have you know them?"

"We all went to Columbia together."

"Undergrad?"

"Yeah undergrad. If you're really that interested I could tell you their story over a drink tonight."

Meredith turns her head to look at Mark directly. "Dr. Sloan you're persistent."

"And Grey you're full of yourself. Get a drink with me tonight. I promise I'll be the perfect gentlemen."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Ok then, just a drink."

"Great. There's a bar across the street how about we meet there at eight."

"Eight is fine." Meredith says in matter of fact tone.

"Fine then." Mark says mocking her, as he stands straight up.

Meredith consciously mimics Mark's movement and stands up to face him.

"Can you really get me on another case?"

"I'll see what I can do, but you should still scrub for Mr. Saz's surgery you might learn something. Afterwards I'll get you a more interesting case. Scouts honor."

Meredith smiles at him. "You we're never a Boy Scout, right?"

"Oh hell no." Mark quickly responds.

"Good bye Dr. Sloan," Meredith turns to walk the opposite direction of Mark.

"Good by _Meredith," _Mark stresses her name as he watches her walk away.

'Oh this is going to be too much fun,' Mark thinks to himself as he turns to go about the rest of his day.


	2. Care to elaborate

_**Author's note: Schools about to start. I'm going to try to update as much as I can before then, and I promise not to totally abandon y'all when class start. Thanks for all the great feedback. Enjoy and review!**_

_**Disclaimer: These characters are not mine.**_

"So you said no, right?" Cristina asks Meredith as she closes her locker door.

"I mean it's just a drink right?" Meredith asks as she looks at Cristina guiltily. "I made it very clear to him that we would be two professionals getting a drink after work."

Cristina laughs as she flings her bag over her shoulder. "Um… okay sure. I'm stuck in the pit all day and you're off making nice with the hot, bachelor attending."

"It's not my fault he decided to put me on the case. I met some of the other attendings too." Meredith says in a weak attempt to defend herself as she puts her jacket on.

"You met the Shepherds?" Cristina asks. Meredith pulls open the door to the locker room and walks out of it holding the door open for Cristina.

"Yeah I did. They're friends of Mark." The two interns walk down the corridor and Cristina pushes the down button for the elevator.

"I was hoping that I would run into them today. I've heard quite a bit about them."

"Jesus, Cristina, are you a total gossip monger?"

"No but when I'm stuck in the pit all day I need something to distract myself."

"What did you hear about them," Meredith says airily trying to disguise her genuine interest. The elevator arrives and the two women step inside.

Cristina walks to the back of the metal elevator and rest against the back wall. "Just that they walk around the hospital pretending to be the freaking golden couple, but really their marriage is slowly falling apart."

The elevator comes to a stop and Cristina leans away from the wall.

"Seriously?" Meredith asks as the elevator doors open and the two women step into the hospital lobby.

"Seriously." Cristina says as she adjusts her bag on her shoulder. "I'm glad I don't have to deal with any of this nonsense."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, I have a boyfriend in Los Angeles. We've been together for a while."

Meredith pauses in the middle of the lobby forcing Cristina to stop and turn back to her. Meredith laughs a bit.

"What?" Cristina asks.

"Nothing, I just think it's funny that you waited until now to mention you have a boyfriend."

Cristina glares at her annoyed at what she's trying to hint at. "If you haven't noticed I'm not exactly the most open person. I'm far more interested in what's going on in other people's lives. Besides it's entirely possible that I'm involved in the most boring relationship ever."

"Is he going to move out here?" Meredith asks hoping she would answer.

"No he wants to, but I think it's stupid. He's name is Burke, well it's Preston but I call him Burke. He's a cardiothoracic surgeon."

"How can that be a boring relationship?" Meredith asks in disbelief. She's heard of Dr. Burke before and he has quite the reputation among the surgical community. Supposedly he is a fine surgeon as well as a fine man.

"This is why I didn't say anything. Can we just drop it please?" Cristina moves towards the door.

Meredith nods accepting Cristina's right to a bit of privacy. After all, they had met just this morning. Meredith looks down at her watch. "I better get going."

Cristina continues her walk to the door and Meredith follows her out. After walking trough the exit Cristina turns to walk to the other side of the parking lot. "Good night Meredith."

"Goodnight Cristina," Meredith says as she turns to walk away.

"Meredith?" Meredith stops walking and turns around. "Don't do anything dumb."

"I wont," Meredith assures her.

"Okay goodnight," Cristina says as she feigns a smile not believing her for a second.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Do you want to go to a charity event the Heidegger's are having next week?" Addison calls out to Derek from her study.

"What?" Derek calls out from their living room. Addison walks out of her study and looks at Derek who is sitting in the living room watching Sports Center.

"The Heideggers the same formal I asked you about last week, but I guess you wouldn't remember." Addison says sounding a little more than slighted. Derek continues to focus on Sport Center not responding to Addison. "Jesus, Derek, I'm talking to you." Addison screams standing in front of the large flat screen television on the wall.

"Addison what do you want from me?" Derek asks as he gets up from his seat and walks to the kitchen.

Addison follows him the kitchen. "If you would listen to me while I speak to you I think we would be off to a great start."

"Whatever Addison," Derek says as he opens up the fridge and grabs a bottle of beer.

Addison exhales loudly not knowing what else to say to him. She couldn't find the energy to fight with him. It always ended the same way. She would yell at him. He would sit there until she was done. He would then apologize and go to bed. Addison would climb into bed with him, he would turn his back to her, and she would lie in bed and wonder what happened to their marriage.

"Derek…" Addison begins.

Derek sets his beer on the table. "Addison we'll talk about whatever you want to talk about but not now." Derek moves around her and picks his coat up from off the bar stool adjacent to the kitchen sink.

"Where are you going?" Addison asks meekly.

Derek adjusts the collar of his coat. Slowly he looks up at her. "Out. You'll probably be sleeping when I get back." Derek moves closer to her as he kisses her on the forehead.

Derek walks out of the kitchen leaving Addison standing there. She stands there until she hears the click of the front door closing and Derek pulling out of the garage. Addison stands there not wanting to cry but finding it hard to stop the tears from running down her face.

Addison walks over to the counter and picks up the headset to the cordless phone. She dials Marks number and hopes that he would pick up. Whenever she had a fight with Derek she would call him and he would talk her down. He late-night calls to Mark's were becoming increasingly frequent although Addison would never admit it. He always answered. He would patiently listen as Addison would tell him what happened and he would attempt to rationalize Derek's actions and Addison always hung up the phone feeling better.

"Damn," Addison whispers to no one in particular as Mark's machine picks up. Addison waits for the beep as she begins to leave a message, "Hey Mark it's me. I needed someone to talk to but I guess you're out or something. Give me a call when you get the chance."

Addison presses the end button on the headset and places it back on its base. Addison sits on the couch and scans through the television channels. Addison pulls her legs into her chest and stares at the television hoping that Derek would be home and that she would finally have the energy to speak up for herself and to let Derek know what she is really thinking, but she knows he won't be home anytime soon, and that she will remain silent.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"So if they are so unhappy why are they still married?" Meredith asks as she takes a sip of her drink and sets it back on the wooden bar.

"What?" Mark asks, motioning to Joe for another round of drinks.

"You said that they are unhappy. So why are they still together what are they hoping would change?"

""They're both very proud people. Admitting that it's over would be admitting defeat."

Plus Derek comes from a big, very Catholic family I doubt that would go over too well."

"So you say they are staying together and putting on the Mr. and Mrs. Smith act out of pure convenience?"

"No, yes…" Mark pauses. "Hell, Grey, I don't know. Why are you asking so many questions?"

Meredith shifts in her stood feeling a bit embarrassed. She picks up her glass and finishes its contents. "I don't know it's just interesting. You seem to be quite involved."

Mark rolls his eyes and takes a long sip from his fresh beer. "Addie calls me and tells me a lot of stuff. I know I should be loyal to Derek and all, but I've known Addie just as long as I've known him."

"Addie?"

Mark blushes and continues talking. "I met them both sophomore year in organic chemistry."

"Addie?" Meredith asks again. "Oh, you so have a crush on her."

"A crush? Meredith, are we still in high school?"

Meredith laughs as she takes a sip from her new drink. "Still doesn't change the fact that you like your best friend's wife."

"And you like my best friend, so I guess we're both in the wrong?"

Meredith takes a gulp of her drink. The combination of coke and tequila burns her throat on the way down. Meredith begins to cough as she begins to speak. "You have no idea what you're talking about." Meredith picks up the small, damp napkin from under her drink and wipes her mouth.

"Grey I can see right through your act. You're a little bit too interested in the saga that is the Shepherd's marriage." Mark looks at Meredith knowingly. "Do you think you are the first intern that wanted to get in the way of the Shepherd marriage?"

Meredith looks at him knowing that she's not. "I don't want to get in the way of the Shepherd marriage. I am focused on my internship and my life. I could care less about the state of my bosses' marriage."

Mark laughs, "Okay, Grey, then this whole conversation was you not caring."

Meredith finishes the liquid in her glass and then reaches for her handbag and searches for a few bills from the bottom of it. She pulls out a twenty and places it on the counter.

"I'm going to have to call it a night, Dr. Sloan. I, unlike you, have rounds in a few hours."

"Likely excuse," Mark says into his glass not turning to look at her. "Goodnight Dr. Grey."

"Goodnight Dr. Sloan," Meredith puts on her jacket and begins to walk out of the bar. Mark's eyes follow her to the door.

Meredith reaches the door and leans back on the door. She smiles at Mark as she opens the door. She feels someone quickly pull the door open from the other side sending her flying backwards. Meredith falls onto the asphalt on the other side of the door. She looks up to see Derek standing over her. She can feel her face becoming flustered. Derek extends her hand to her, helping her to her feet.

"Thanks," Meredith says shifting her eyes to the floor.

"I see you found Joe's already," Derek says grinning at Meredith.

"Yep." Meredith says as she stands there awkwardly trying to think of something else to say.

"Did you come with anyone," Derek asks, sensing her uneasiness.

"Oh yeah I had a drink with Mark."

"Oh did you?" Derek asks, his eyes widening a bit.

"Yeah." Meredith says, as an awkward silence descends upon them yet again.

"Do you want to come back inside? I'm sure you need another drink after that fall."

Meredith finally speaks. "No, I'm fine. I have to get, you know, going." Meredith takes a few steps backward toward the parking lot.

Derek smiles at her again. "Okay you do that. I'll see you around Meredith."

"Goodnight Dr. Shepherd." Meredith says as she turns and walks to her car. Derek waves to her as she climbs into her jeep and pulls out of the parking lot. Derek stands there for a few moments until he pulls the door open to the bar.

He steps into the smoke filled bar and joins Mark at their usual spot.

"Hey man," Mark says as Derek sits in the stool beside him. "You just missed Meredith."

Derek motions to Joe for a beer. "No I saw her on the way out. Have you noticed she seems a bit different from the interns we're used to?"

Mark takes a sip of his beer. "I've definitely noticed."

"And…"

"What do you want me to say, Derek. She's made it more than clear that we are going to have to interact on her terms. She's not brainless enough for me. She's tiring actually."

Derek laughs as Joe sets a beer in front him. "So you're not interested?" Derek asks casually.

"No man. She makes me laugh but that's it."

Derek nods his head and takes a sip of his beer. Mark observes him a moment before he speaks again. "So why are you here tonight? I thought you were staying in with Addison."

"Plans got changed."

"Care to elaborate?" Mark asks.

Derek shrugs. "Not really."

Mark nods and makes a mental note to call Addison on his way home. The two men sit there for a few minutes not talking to one another both pretending to be distracted by the television behind the bar. Both men sit there thinking about different women, both of which are out of their reach.


	3. Thanks a lot

_**Author's note: Another chapter before I go back to school, as promised. Review and enjoy!**_

_**Disclaimer: These characters are not mine.**_

"So what's this case you managed to get me on?" Meredith asks as she shuts off the water in the scrub room.

Mark laughs and turns to look at her as he washes his hands. "Did you or did you not _just_ see a man's face cut up on the table? Someone like Yang would have paid to be in that surgery, but you Grey are thinking about the next surgery. Grey you are ungrateful."

Meredith reaches for a paper towel and dries her hands. She pulls her scrub cap off. "I am not ungrateful. I'm just looking forward to working on another case. I mean Dr. Sloan this is my second day on the job. I'm just a doe eyed intern thirsting for knowledge. I'm like a sponge. I'll have you know, I'm very sponge-like."

"Whatever Grey," Mark grabs a paper towel out of the holder, balls it up, and shoots it in the trashcan.

"How mature of you," Meredith jokes as she opens the door to the scrub room and Mark follow her out. She takes a few steps with him and then pauses. "So are you going to tell me?"

Mark stops walking as well. He turns and looks at her. "Tell you what?"

"That you're madly in love with me and can't live another day without me in your life?"

Mark looks at her confusedly.

"Jesus, are you going to tell me what case I'm working on today or should I go talk to Dr. Bailey." Meredith pauses. "I can wait for you to tell me you're madly in love with me until later."

Mark brushes past Meredith and scans through the stack of charts sitting beside the counter. He grabs one of the grey charts and hands it to Meredith.

"Here. This should shut you up for a while." Mark begins to walk away after giving Meredith the chart. "You can thank me later."

"Thanks," Meredith says sarcastically as she opens the chart. She scans over a few of the pages. She looks as sees the authorizing surgeon's signature at the bottom on the page

'_Dr. Derek Shepherd—Head of Neurosurgery.'_

Meredith rolls her eyes and closes the chart. "Thanks a lot," she mutters to herself.

"Who are you talking to?" Cristina asks as she comes behind her.

"Oh no one," Meredith continues to read the chart.

"Dr. Bailey's letting me scrub in on a routine bypass today. I'll be the first intern allowed to scrub in on any procedure."

"I just scrubbed in with Ma—Dr. Sloan." Meredith doesn't look up from her reading.

Cristina's head snap up. "Seriously?"

"Yeah." Meredith looks up at Cristina as closes the chart.

Meredith holds the chart close to her chest as she walks to the elevator. Cristina stands beside her waiting for the elevator. "Are you about to get your patient into pre-op?" Meredith asks innocently trying to steer the conversation in a new direction.

"Yeah, I'm on my way to do that now. What do they have you working on for the rest of the day?"

"I'm on a case with Dr. Shepherd." Meredith says casually.

"Which one?"

"Neuro."

Cristina takes a step backwards away from Meredith. "Seriously?" She says loud enough that everyone turns to look at them. She lowers her voice and repeats herself. "Seriously? I bet it's an advanced procedure too."

"Cristina…"

"No Meredith I get it. You run around making nice with Dr. McDreamy and McSteamy so you can get on the good cases. If that's a problem just mention your last name and then you should have no problem getting whatever you want. It's a good plan really; I guess you just have to be the right kind of person to pull it off."

"What exactly are you trying to imply?" Meredith snaps her eyes flashing with anger.

"Nothing." Cristina fires back. "Nothing at all." Cristina turns and heads toward the stairwell, leaving Meredith alone waiting for the elevator.

Finally, the elevator arrives and Meredith steps in. Thankful that it is empty, Meredith steps towards the back wall and leans against it, letting out an audible sigh. The metal doors begin to close, but stop halfway. The doors open again and Addison Shepherd walks into the elevator.

Meredith stands up straight and gives Addison her best feigned smile. "Good afternoon Dr. Shepherd."

"Hey Meredith," Addison says cheerfully as she hits the button for the 4th floor. "How has your day been? Are you getting used to Seattle?"

Meredith is relieved that Addison has decided to take the lead in this conversation. Meredith would have opted for awkward silence. "Day's been good. I scrubbed in on my first surgery. It was a simple procedure, but it was amazing. Not that simplicity…" Meredith stops herself realizing that she was beginning to ramble. "It went well. I grew up here in Seattle, so I'm more or less used to it."

Addison smiles at her. "That's good. Have you found a place to stay yet?"

"I'm living in my mother's old house. It's been sitting there ever since she you know… passed away. It's a bit odd living in that big house by myself, but I'm getting used to it."

"I was always a big fan of you mother. She was such an inspiration to me while I was in school, and even now."

"She was a great surgeon." Meredith says blankly. She doesn't like talking about her mother. So many people had so many great things to say about her, but Meredith felt as if she hardly knew the woman.

The elevator doors open and the two women exit the elevator. Meredith turns to walk out of the elevator.

"I'll talk to you later Dr. Shepherd." Meredith says as Addison walks away.

"Okay Dr. Grey." Addison smiles at her and walks down the corridor towards the surgical offices.

Addison finds the door she is looking for and softly knocks on the hard, wooden frame. Slowly, she opens the door and sees Derek typing rapidly into his computer.

"Hey," Addison says as she slips into the room and sits down in the chair opposite of her husband.

Derek doesn't look up from his computer. "Hey, how was your night last night?"

Addison crosses her legs and smoothes her skirt. "It was good. I got caught up on my reading. I didn't hear you come in last night."

Continuing to type, "Yeah I came in pretty late. I slept down the hall in the guest room. I didn't want to wake you up. I knew you had an early surgery this morning."

"Yeah," Addison says absently. "Thanks. I did… Are you coming home tonight?"

Derek finally stops typing. He gets up from his desk and begins to search for a file in his filing cabinet. "Um… I haven't really thought about it. I don't have to come in until tomorrow afternoon, so sometime out of the house would be good."

"We could get reservations at the new Thai restaurant that Dr. Finnland told us about."

Having found the file he was looking for, Derek sits back down at his desk to read the file. "I was thinking of doing something a little more low key, besides don't you have another AM surgery tomorrow?"

Addison uncrosses her legs and moves to stand up. "No, not tomorrow, but I guess you're right." Addison says trying to remove the hurt from her voice. "I'll probably try to do something tonight, so maybe we'll run into one another while we're out."

Derek scribbles his signature at the bottom of a form. "Yeah, maybe." A long silence descends over the small office.

Addison moves towards the door. "I'll see you later Derek."

Derek mumbles a few barely audible words and continues his work. Addison closes the door behind herself and down the corridor to her office. She slides into her chair and picks up the phone. She dials the number and awaits an answer on the other end of the line. The voicemails picks up and Addison decides to leave a message.

"Hey Mark it's me. I haven't seen you around today. I guess you're still working on that facial reconstruction case. Anyway, I was calling to see if you wanted to go out for dinner and drinks tonight. We should go to the restaurant we tried to get reservations to last week but couldn't get. You know the Japanese place… Anyways give me a call back. I should be in the office all day. Talk to you later, bye."

Addison places the phone back on its base. Nearly every week Mark and her went to a restaurant. Derek used to go with her back when then lived in New York, but they stopped going when they transferred to Seattle Grace after their fellowships. They just got too busy. Derek couldn't sneak away to the hot new restaurant or bar, but Mark was always up for it.

Addison kicks off her heels, powers on her computer, and begins to sort through her paper work. She smiles to herself as he office phone rings a few minutes later. She picks it up on the third ring.

"This is Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd." Addison pauses and listens to the voice on the other end of the line.

"Hey Mark… You already made the reservations… Sure eight sounds great… Okay, I'll see you then."

Addison hangs up the receiver already feeling her mood pick up. Her eyes glance at the picture of her and Derek sitting on her desk. The picture was from about five years ago when they visited Rome. Derek's arms are wrapped tightly around her waist. Addison is looking up at Derek. In the picture one could literally see Addison's reflection in his eyes.

'_A lot has changed in five years.'_


	4. I want it all

_**Author's note: Sorry for the lack of updates, life has resumed, so you know how that goes. Review and enjoy!**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.**_

"So what do you do?" Dr. Shepherd asks Meredith ask she closes to the door behind herself.

"Excuse me," she asks as she walks over to the nurses' station and sets the chart she is holding down on the counter.

"What do you do in your free time," Derek asks. Slowly he leans his back against the nurses' station. Meredith makes a mental note of Derek and Mark's similar mannerisms.

Meredith laughs as she formulates her answer; "Well I drink copious amounts of tequila and then make bad decisions, that's my favorite pastime." Meredith smiles at him as she opens up the chart and scribbles her signature at the bottom of a page. She looks up at Derek. "What about you Dr. Shepherd."

"Derek," he says correcting her. "Well I like to fly fish, and I kind of have a thing for ferryboats."

"A thing for ferryboats?" Meredith asks as she raises her eyebrows at him.

"Yes, a thing for ferryboats."

"What does this 'thing' entail?"

"Well, I think they are beautiful and I like to ride them."

Meredith feels her face beginning to flush. She looks back down at her chart attempting to pretend like her focus is elsewhere.

"Seems kind of odd," Meredith declares.

"Odd is good," Derek responds.

"I guess sometimes," Meredith shrugs her shoulders and closes the chart putting it back in its place.

Derek stands up straight and takes a step closer to Meredith. "How about I take you out for a drink tonight. A welcoming of sorts. I'll show you how good odd can be."

Meredith gives him a shrewd smile. "I'm sure you're taking all of your interns out for drinks."

"Of course," Derek says innocently.

"Dr. Shepherd, I don't think that is the best idea." Meredith takes a step backward she feels her face beginning to redden.

"It'll be harmless. You went out with Mark the other night, right?"

Meredith laughs. "So this is about Dr. Sloan?" Meredith asks lowering her voice, not wanting the people walking by to know what they are talking about.

"No, this is about me wanting to buy you a drink and welcome you to Seattle."

Meredith stops and ponders for a moment. "Okay," she says finally.

"Okay?"

"Sure, why not. It's not as if I have anything else to do tonight. Is Addison going to be joining us?"

Derek looks away and pretends to search for a chart as he answers her question. "No, she has other plans tonight."

"Oh," Meredith answers.

Derek's pager vibrates on his hip. He looks down and checks the page.

"I have to get this. So drinks at 9?" Derek asks giving her that same look for the day before that makes her feel uneasy, almost as if he has the ability to see through her.

"9 is fine."

"See you then," Derek says, smiling as he walks backwards towards the elevator.

"See you," Meredith says as he walks away.

-x-

Addison pours a vodka shot down her throat as she takes a long swig of her beer chaser.

"Addie, I think you're beyond using a chaser." Mark states, as she takes a sip of his single malt scotch.

"And I think you would have been able to find your own drink by now," Addison answers back, as she sets her beer back on her damp napkin.

Mark shrugs as he smiles at Addison. Addison smiles back, sinking further into the booth. Addison continues the conversation they were having prior to her talking her shot. "He doesn't even care. He came home and slept down the hall from me."

Mark leans back into his seat. "We didn't leave her until pretty late and he was quite the mess when we left."

"Hm," Addison says softly. "I want more?" Addison declares.

"Vodka?"

"Ten years ago I never thought I would be sitting alone in my million dollar home crying myself to sleep every night."

"Addie…" Mark begins.

"No let me finish," Addison demands dropping her hand to the table, feeling the effects of her last shot cumulating the three she took before it. "I want more. I want love. I want attention. I want the intrigue. Mark I'm tired of pretending."

Mark looks at her seriously. "Then stop."

Addison rolls her eyes. "It's not that easy."

"Why isn't it?" Mark finishes his drink motioning to the bartender for another as well as a fresh round of shots.

"Maybe real life just doesn't work out that way." Addison exhales audibly.

"You and Derek love one another. You're just going through a rough patch."

"A rough patch that last three years? I can't remember the last time he's really touched me. I forgot what it feels like."

Mark is thankful for the interruption as the waiter sets a new scotch in front of him and two shot glasses. Mark thanks the waiter and raises his shot glass to Addison. "Here's to having it all."

"Cheers," Addison says as she hits her shot glass against his. The liquor burns as it runs down their throats. Neither of them notices as Meredith and Derek walk into the bar and grab a booth on the other side of the bar, out of their view.

-x-

Meredith slides into the booth as Derek does the same. They order their drinks and settle into casual conversation.

"So where are you staying," Derek asks as the waiter sets his drinking in front of him.

"My mom's old house," Meredith replies.

"All by yourself?" Derek asks, as he raises his drinks to his lips.

Meredith shifts her tequila shot in front of her as she takes a ship of her mixed drink. "Yeah I'm all alone in my mother's empty."

"Somehow I think that fits you. Are you planning to get a housemate?"

Meredith shakes her head. "No, too much trouble. The other female intern hates me already."

"Yang?"

"Yeah," Meredith sets her mixed drink back down on her napkin. "She thinks I'm…" Meredith begins to explain as she realizes whom she's talking to. She pauses and takes the tequila shot raising her hand to signal to the waiter that she wants another. "She's not particularly fond of me."

"Hm," Derek replies as he takes a long sip of his scotch. "Addison was the only female intern our year." Derek says, surprised that he brought up Addison in their conversation.

The waiter sets a new shot in front of Meredith, which she quickly brings to her lips and takes.

"Slow down there," Derek says, as she flips the shot glass upside down and sets it on the table.

Meredith laughs at him, already feeling the effects of the two shots she had taken in a relatively short period of time. She looks beyond Derek surveying the small bar. She notices Addison and Mark sitting a one of the other booths.

"Look," she says pointing to them.

Derek turns around and doesn't react to Addison and Mark sitting across the bar.

"They seems to be friendly," Meredith says as she finishes the last of her mixed drink.

Derek shrugs, "We've all been friends for such a long while. They spend a lot of time together. I think it's good."

"Seriously?" Meredith asks, and she raises her eyebrows at him

"Seriously. I don't get jealous, especially over Mark."

Meredith studies Derek's face trying to read him. His facial expression is expressive but blank all at the same time.

"I see." Meredith says as she reaches for his glass and finishes the last of his scotch.

"Hey," Derek cries out.

"You drink too slow."

"And apparently you drink entirely too much. You weren't kidding earlier were you?"

Meredith shrugs. "I like to drink." As if on cue the waiter sets a fresh round of drinks in front of them. Meredith quickly throws back the shot. Derek looks at her clearly very amused.

Neither of them talks for a few moments listening to the quite roar that fills the small bar. Meredith smiles to herself.

"What?" Derek asks.

Meredith shakes her head. She silently curses herself for drinking so much so quickly, but somewhat glad she was able alleviate the awkwardness she was feeling about getting drinks with her boss whom she is very much attracted to.

'_He's married, and his wife is across the bar,' _Meredith reminds herself feeling her liquor courage beginning to build.

Derek begins to say something, but the sound of a breaking glass interrupts him. Derek snaps his head around. He sees Addison bending down to pick up the pieces.

Derek sighs as he gets up from his seat and over to Addison and Mark's booth. Meredith follows him feeling her legs wobble underneath her as she takes each step.

Addison looks up. "Derek," she says softly.

"Addison." Derek bends down to help he pick up the broken glass. Feeling more than a bit drunk Meredith sits down at the booth with Mark. "You smell like vodka."

"You smell like scotch." Addison snaps back.

Derek rolls his eyes. "You're drunk."

"So." Addison relies in a harsh tone.

Mark and Meredith look down at them. Derek and Addison realize they are being watched as they rise to their feet.

"I should take you home," Derek says sounding a little more than annoyed wanting to escape this sistuation.

Addison doesn't notice the annoyance in his voice, as she nods her head in agreement.

"Goodnight Mark, Meredith," Addison slurs as she wraps her hand around Derek's waist.

"Goodnight," Derek says as he grabs his wife's purse. He takes one final look as he goes and lays a few bills on the table he and Meredith were sitting at and walks Addison out of the bar.

Meredith looks at Mark blankly, not completely sure what just happened. She doesn't think anything of the fact that she's drinking Addison's beer and eyeing the shot in front of her.

"Go for it," Mark says noticing her looking at the liquor.

Meredith quickly takes the shot.

"Ugh," she cries out in disgust.

"What?" Mark looks at her oddly.

"I hate vodka, it's too harsh!"

"What do you want to drink then?" Mark asks, motioning for the waiter to come to their table.

"Tequila," Meredith replies, finishing off the remainder of Addison's beer.

"What?" Mark exclaims. "If vodka is harsh, and what is Tequila?"

"Delicious," Meredith replies, feeling silly.

"I'll take you word for it." Mark orders a bottle of tequila from the bar and smiles at Meredith.

"I thought you were going to take my word for it."

"Yeah right, like I'm going to let you have the fun."

The waiter comes back and sets the bottle of José Cuervo on their table. Meredith immediately picks up the bottle and takes long swig, having lost most of her self-control. Not to be outdone Mark takes the bottle from her and takes three gulps.

"It's good isn't it?" Meredith asks, as Mark wipes his mouth off with the back of his hand.

Mark makes a face of disgust. "Oh yeah it's good. I know something else that you might enjoy."

Meredith raises her eyebrows at him. "Oh yeah," she replies flirtatiously as her vision becomes slightly blurred.

"Yeah," Mark replies, taking another swig of the tequila, which goes down a lot easier this time.

"Well the only think I like more than tequila is sex."

Mark laughs. "I don't like anything more than sex. Sex is on the top of my list."

"I guess we have that in common." Meredith looks down at her drink and rubs the condensation off the empty beer bottle in front of her.

"How about we take this bottle and go somewhere a little more private?" Mark asks.

"Dr. Sloan are you coming onto me?" Meredith asks very obviously amused.

"Dr. Grey are you drunk?"

Meredith shakes her head yes. "Are you?"

"Wait do you think?" Mark sets the half-drank tequila bottle of the wooden table.

Meredith laughs. "Okay let's get out of here."

In one fluid movement Mark throws a stack of bills on the table, grabs the tequila, and puts his coat on. Meredith zips her jacket up.

'Ready," she asks, already fully aware of his answer.

"Yes, I am."

The two doctors walk out of the bar, trying their hardest to keep their hands to themselves until they walks out of the door.

Meredith inhales the cold night air. "It's a nice night."

Mark doesn't hear her speak. Before he realizes what he's doing he pushes Meredith against a car. His mouth finds hers and he explores the insides of her mouth with his tongue. Meredith cries out in his mouth our of surprise and the mixed sensation of pleasure and pain.

Meredith groans under his touch as she runs her hands underneath his leather jacket. Mark's hands drop to the waist of Meredith's jeans as the glass bottle of tequila drops to the cement, and breaks.

Neither of them notices because they are too lost in one another. Tomorrow will be a different story, but for tonight they were lost in a haze of tequila both thinking they were actually going home with someone else.

"Take me home," Meredith whispers into Mark's ear as she tugs on the earlobe with her teeth.

Mark grabs her hand and leads her to his car.


	5. You Care

_**Author's Note: So it's been a while since I've updated, school, life… you know the obvious reasons. The next couple of chapters are outlined, and just need to be written. As always, enjoy and review.**_

_**Disclaimer: These characters are not mine.**_

"Shit."

"Well good morning to you, too." Mark rolls over to his side and smiles at her.

The memories from the night before, flood back to her. "Shit!" She repeats as she rolls onto her back trying to avoid looking directly at Mark.

"What," Mark asks as he touches her waist underneath the covers. Meredith moves as to avoid his touch. He laughs at her uneasiness.

"It's not funny!" she yells.

"I'd have to disagree. You have to at the very least laugh at the strange irony of it all." Mark pokes her again.

Meredith rolls over to her side to face Mark.

'At least he's not making this awkward,' she thinks to herself.

"So Dr. Sloan is this how you treat all your interns the morning after?"

Mark rolls his eyes. "No, you're special, usually I kick them out the next morning, you, you can stay."

Meredith sits up and pulls the flannel sheet around her body. "Then I guess I should be appreciative."

"You should be." Mark smiles at her and neither of them say anything for a few moments. A look of worry covers Meredith's face as she turns and looks out the window. "Meredith." Mark says, touching her bare shoulder. "Don't worry about it, okay. This can stay between you and me. They don't have to know, and it doesn't have to mean anything."

Meredith feels a little bit relieved. It isn't as if she expected him to run and tell Derek, but it felt good to have Mark reassure her that he wouldn't. "So how long have you been in love with her?"

"What?" Mark laughs as he reaches for his boxers at the side of the bed, pulling them on underneath the covers.

"Like it isn't obvious that you are totally, and completely in love with her."

"She's my best friend's wife. Why would I be in love with my best friend's wife?"

"Because you can't help who you fall in love with," Meredith responds.

"I've known since senior year at Columbia."

"That long?"

"Yes, that long. Now you think I'm pathetic, huh?"

"Not anymore than I thought you were last night."

"Oh Grey, you know the last thing I am is pathetic." Mark says as he raises his eyebrows at her.

Meredith reaches for the pillow next to her and throws it at Mark. Mark lunges towards her as he dodges the pillow. Meredith squeals as she rolls off the bed pulling the sheet off the bed with her.

Meredith laughs as she reaches for the closest article of clothing she could find. She pulls her shirt on, praying that she could find her underwear.

"Looking for these," Mark jokes, holding up a black pair of cotton panties.

Meredith leans forward and snatches them from him, pulling them on underneath the sheet. She stands up allowing the sheet to fall off her body and back to the floor.

"C'mon I'll make you something to eat before we go get your car." Mark offers opening a drawer and pulling a pair of athletic shorts on over his boxers.

"You cook?"

"No, but I have cereal."

"Then you're lucky I like cereal."

"Grey, we're going to be good friends." Mark says as he leads Meredith down the stairs and to the kitchen.

-x-

"Nice shoes."

Meredith's head snaps around as she faces Cristina.

"It's not uncommon for people to wear the same shoes two days in a row." Meredith explains.

"What the hell are you talking about," Cristina asks sitting on the bench on front of her locker pulling her scrubs top over her head.

"I wore the same shoes yesterday." Meredith admits sitting down on the bench next to Cristina. Meredith is horrible at keeping secrets, especially secrets that involve her sleeping with her boss, because the boss she actually wants to sleep with is married.

"Whatever." Cristina says as she gets up and takes her sneakers out of her locker sitting back down to put them on. "How's McDreamy?"

"Who?"

"Dr. Shepherd."

Meredith laughs awkwardly at the nickname. 'It is fitting,' she thinks to herself. "Um.. I don't know. I mean I went for drinks with him last night, but I didn't go home with him, he went home with his wife."

Meredith gets up and closes her locker door. Cristina steps in front of her.

"You're a bad liar."

"I'm not lying. I didn't go home with him. Iwenthomewithmark." Meredith admits running her words together, hoping that Cristina wouldn't understand her.

"Mark? I knew it." Cristina says contently as she leans back on the lockers. "So how was it?"

Meredith gives her a looks that says, 'as if you need to ask.' Meredith looks away. "We're friends that's it. We're both interested in other people."

"Sure." Cristina says, pulling open the locker room door.

"I'm serious."

"I believe you." Cristina says reaching for a chart at the nurse station.

"Seriously?"

"No." Cristina looks up from reading the chart she grabbed. "So do they have you performing unassisted surgery today, that should be next given the fact that you seem to be on the accelerated track?"

"No," Meredith replies ignoring her sarcasm. "I'm still working on the neuro case with Dr. Shepherd. I still have to sleep with him as well before I can do a unassisted surgery."

Cristina rolls her eyes putting the chart back in its place. "I wouldn't put it past you."

Meredith stops. "You know I'm really not some whore trying to sleep her way to the top."

"I know, you're actually talented, and that's what scares me." Cristina says as she walks away.

Meredith's pager begins to vibrate on her hip. She looks down at the page and runs to answer the call.

-x-

Meredith knocks softly on her patient's door, pushing it open, and stepping inside. She inhales sharply as she sees Mark and Derek standing on opposite sides of the patient's bed.

"Dr. Grey," the two men say as she walks further into the room.

"Dr. Shepherd, Dr. Sloan," She says as she nods to each respectively.

"I need you to run these labs," Derek says as he hands her the patient's chart. Meredith nods. "I also need you to take him for a CT. It might be backed up though."

"It was backed up last night." Mark says not having any idea what he was talking about, just trying to see if he can make Meredith squirm. Just because he said he wouldn't say anything, didn't mean he wasn't going to have some fun with it.

"It should be clear now." Derek says scribbling his signature on the bottom of a form, which he hands Meredith.

"You're in good hands with Dr. Grey," Mark says to the patient, briefly looking up at Meredith, "She'll bend over backward to make sure you are totally satisfied."

Meredith coughs as her face begins to flush. "Okay, well I better go run these labs. Mr. Taymor I'll come and get you once I make sure the CT is available."

Meredith quickly turns and walks out of the room.

She silently curses Mark as she walks towards the stairs. She feels Mark's hand on her elbow. She pulls him into the staircase and closes the door.

"What the hell was that about?" Meredith snaps heading up the stairs.

"I was just trying to see if I could get a rise out of you, and obviously I was successful." Mark laughs following her up the stairs.

"What if he figures it out?"

"He won't." Mark assures her.

"What if he does?"

"Then he does, he's married remember." Mark reminds her. Meredith feels foolish. She stops walking up at the stairs and turns to look at Mark.

"I guess you're right."

"I'm always right." Mark replies assuredly.

"I'm sure you are, but I still think you're an ass." Meredith smiles at Mark as she turns and resumes walking up the stairs.

-x-

"I think my fingers are about to fall off," Cristina complains as she and Meredith wait for the elevator to arrive. "I swear to God, if I don't get a good case tomorrow I'm quitting this damned program. I could have stayed in LA with Burke, he would have at least let me scrub in."

"I'm sorry," Meredith says genuinely.

"No you're not. You're high off surgery, and you know it."

Meredith smiles and shrugs as the elevator doors open, and the two women step into the crowded elevator.

"Are you going out with Mark tonight?" Cristina asks Meredith.

"No. I'm here until God knows when, plus we aren't like that."

"So the two of you are just going to sleep together?" Cristina says he voice a little too loud.

Meredith gives her the 'shut the hell up look' and then answers her question. "It was a one-time thing. It happened. It's no big deal."

"If it's no big deal then why were you freaking out this morning?" Cristina asks. The elevator stops on the second floor and the majority of the passengers step out, including Cristina.

"Goodnight," Meredith says cheerfully, ignoring her question as the doors close between them. Meredith turns around and sees Addison standing against the back wall. She feels her face go white.

"Dr. Shepherd," she stammers.

-x-

Addison pulls her trench coat tightly around her body. She is sitting on the bench outside of the hospital not yet ready to go home. She is still trying to deal with the fact that Mark slept with Meredith and exactly why she cares so much.

Every year Mark slept with a female intern, and then promptly left her flat on her ass. It was his thing. Mark's romantic life consisted of an endless fleet of one night stands, and brief three month affairs, until now.

But Addison couldn't help but shake the feeling that something was different this time. So what if they slept together, you should be happy for Mark.' Addison thinks to herself. She knows she loves Mark, but no more than she loves her brother. Mark was always there for her. Mark was always more than willing to lose a few hours of sleep in favor of talking to her for a few extra hours on the phone. Mark was there, always.

Addison feels her phone vibrate in her bag. She opens the tote and pulls out her blackberry. She checks her messages. There's one from Derek, "Emergency surgery. Don't know when I'll be home. Have a good night." Tonight will be another night home alone for Addison.

Addison dials Mark's number and awaits an answer. The call rolls over to the voicemail, and Addison, frustrated, throws the phone back into her bag, and heads back into the hospital.

She takes the stairs to the second floor and walks down the long corridor where all of their offices where. She finds the door she is looking for and knocks on it.

"Come in."

Slowly Addison opens the door and steps inside placing her bag next to the door. "Mark."

"Hey Addie," Mark says as he gets up from his chair and plants a kiss on her cheek.

"You didn't answer my call." Addison says blankly.

"Yeah, I'm on my way out the door, and couldn't get to my phone."

"You always answer your phone." Addison leans against the door behind her.

"I'm sorry," Mark offers realizing that something was bothering Addison beyond the fact that he didn't answer her call. "What's wrong Addie," Mark asks tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"I can't figure out why I'm not happy for you. I can't figure out why I care so much that you slept with Meredith Grey. I shouldn't care Mark, I shouldn't."

"Sshh…" Mark says as he steps forward and hugs her. "Don't worry about it, it didn't mean anything." Mark feels his stomach tighten. 'What exactly is she trying to say,' he thinks to himself.

Addison pulls away. "No, I'm not supposed to care. I mean you sleep with lots of women, but the second you sleep with someone decent, I freak out. I'm married Mark. Married women don't care who their husband's best friends sleep with."

A heavy silence fills the room as both attempt to take in the reality of the situation. Before either of them realize what is happening Mark's body is pressed up against hers on the door. His lips are on hers and his hands are running up her shirt.

"Mark," Addison sighs in between kisses, finally realizing why she cares so much.

"You care." Mark responds and his hand turns the lock on the door.


	6. Fantasy

_**Author's Note: So two updates in one weekend, I'm on a roll, eh? I wanted to update at least once more before the premiere, and I actually accomplished that. As always, review and enjoy!**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.**_

"That was…"

"Amazing," Addison finishes his sentence as she moves closer to him in the bed.

Their bodies are sticky with sweat. The dark flannel sheets stick to their skin. Addison nuzzles herself further under his arm as he plants a kiss on the top of her head. Addison forgot what it felt like to be held, she closes her eyes and blocks out the bleak reality of their situation—they just had sex, and in the bed that Addison and Derek shared, although Addison can't remember the last time they had actually shared the bed.

Addison positions herself in the bed so her back is pressed against Mark's abdomen and his hands are on her waist. She stares out the window into the black sky. She knows she should feel guilty. She knows that technically she's an adulteress. But in this moment she can't feel anything but fulfilled, and content, maybe the guilt would come later.

Mark nuzzles his face in her hair as he whispers in her ear. "I better get going." Mark knows that he shouldn't be her. He's fully aware of the fact that he just slept with his best friend's wife in his own bed. He realizes is only a matter of time before Addison realizes that she has made a mistake and asks him to leave. He wants to avoid that. He lets go of Addison's waist and he moves to get up from the bed.

Addison grabs his wrist turning on her side to look at him. "No."

Mark sits down on the side of the bed. "I have to go, Derek will be home soon."

"No he won't," Addison casts her eyes down to the floor.

Mark looks at her and knows that she's probably right. He gives her a small smile. "Addison a lot has happened tonight." He kisses her gently on the cheek. "I should go back home, we both need to deal with this."

"I've already dealt with this," Addison says softly sounding a little more than hurt.

Mark reaches forward and brushes her flushed cheek with his thumb. "I don't want any one to get hurt."

"I know." Addison pulls the covers up to her chin and pulls her knees to her chest.

Mark knows he should go, but he can't find the strength to get up from the bed. He's imagined Addison begging him to come back to bed a million times in his dreams, but somehow the reality doesn't quite match up with the fantasy.

He turns and looks at Addison. His smokey grey eyes meeting hers. He feels his willpower crumble inside of him as she looks at her. Mark leans across the bed and kisses her already bruised lips. Addison drops the sheet and Mark climbs further into the bed grabbing he closer to him. He pushes the sticky covers to the floor as he runs his hands up Addison's sides. He pushes away his thoughts and allows himself to get lost in what feels similar to the dream he's been having for the last fifteen years. She was his, even if only for the night.

-x-

"Dr. Grey you did very well in there tonight." Derek says as he and Meredith step in the elevator heading to the ground floor.

"Thank you, I mean it's not every day that I get to assist on two neuro cases in one day." She smiles at Derek.

"If you're willing to stay at the hospital until 3 am when you're not even on duty you end up assisting on all kinds of cases." Derek opens his phone and studies the screen.

"Well I'll have to keep that in mind, but I'm not going to lie sleep seems amazing right now."

Derek laughs and leans against the elevator's back wall. "You have no idea…"

The elevator doors open and the two doctors walk into the lobby. Derek looks down at his watch. He cannot believe that it's nearly three in the morning.

"Wait one second?" Meredith asks as she walks towards the family of the patient they just operated on.

Derek nods and smiles as he watches her walk towards them. 'She's a good person,' Derek thinks to himself as he sits down in one of the lobby chairs. He opens his phone again and calls home. He figures Addison is asleep, but figured he should at least attempt to call. The voicemail picks up and he is faced with Addison's chipper message, "You've reached the Shepherd's leave a message."

Derek's lying before he even realizes what he's doing. "Addie I think I'm going to stay at the hospital tonight. My patient needs to be monitored tonight, and I want to stick around and make sure everything is alright. I'll see you at the hospital tomorrow." Derek flips his phone shut and stands as Meredith walks towards him.

"What was that about?" Derek asks. He walks towards the main lobby doors, Meredith walks by his side.

Meredith shrugs, "Oh, nothing. I just wanted to make sure they were okay."

"Are they?" Derek raises his eyebrows at her.

"They're coping." Meredith stops as the glass doors slide open in front of them.

They step out into the cool night. "That's good to hear." The two doctors stand in the parking lot for a moment, both knowing that they need to say "goodnight," but neither ready to go, not yet.

"Dr. Grey do you like ferryboats?"

Meredith's face lights up. "Yes, Dr. Shepherd, I do"

Derek smiles back. "Good, because I like them as well."

"I know you told me last night." Meredith replies with laughter in her voice.

"Well, I know a place that overlooking the water. We could stop and get some horrible fast food, coffee and, well, watch the sun rise, and of course the ferryboats."

Meredith looks at him hesitantly.

Derek continues, "You know at this point it'll be pointless to go home, go to bed, only to have to get up in a few hours."

Meredith ignores the voice in her head that's telling her this isn't a good idea. "Okay, that sounds like fun."

"Meredith, I'm a fun machine." Derek declares as he leads her to his car.

-x-

"I cannot believe they didn't kick you out of the program," Meredith exclaims as she takes a sip of her now cold coffee.

"What can I say, I'm kinda bad ass."

Meredith rolls her eyes. "I'm sure that's exactly what you told Dr. Webber."

"Pretty much." Derek looks out onto the water and watches the fishing boats getting ready to go out for their morning catch.

"Have you always been so confident, and self-assured." Meredith asks nudging him with her shoulder as she pours her coffee out on the grass.

"Always." Meredith looks up at him. "Can I tell you a secret?" Meredith nods. "Most of the time I don't know what the hell is going on. I mean in the OR I know exactly what comes next, but other than that I'm completely just guessing."

"I feel that way a lot, but I attribute it to the fact that I'm an intern, and I'm not supposed to have a clue."

"I thought that once I finished my residency I would feel like I finally have a grasp on things, you know, life, but I don't."

"Do you think we ever get to the point where we're done, well, growing up?"

Derek shakes his head. "Nah, we're not supposed to have it all figured out, and if we did, things would be damned boring."

Meredith leans back on her hands. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

They stop talking, and pretend to focus on the bay. Meredith wants to ask him more questions about his life. She wants to know exactly what about his life he's trying to figure out. She wants to ask him why he's out here with her instead of home with his wife. She settles on saying nothing. If he wanted to tell her he would.

"So why Seattle?" Derek asks breaking Meredith's concentration.

"What?"

"Why'd you come to Seattle?"

"When I started applying to programs my mother was just getting sick, so I wanted to be close to her. She passed away before I finished applying but I don't know, I guess, I wanted to study at the same place she got her beginnings. I also wanted to get off the east coast. I just figured if it worked for her…"

"It would work for you."

Meredith sits there expecting him to offer her his condolences, or say something nice about her mother, but he didn't. He gives her a weak smile and goes back to looking at the water.

Figuring it was her turn to start the conversation, Meredith speaks up, "So you and Mark have known each other for a long time." Meredith feels foolish bringing this up, but she couldn't think of anything else that they could talk about.

"Yeah, since college, why?" Derek turns to face her.

"Nothing, I'm was just wondering."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Because I mean he is available, and I mean it wouldn't be the end of the world if you were interested in him."

Meredith laughs and shakes her head. "He's a good guy, but I could never see him as anything but a friend."

Derek shrugs and subconsciously he feels relieved. "He is a good guy, loyal, he was my freshman roommate at Columbia."

"Oh dear, I could imagine the number of girls in various states of undress, and sobriety that came in and out of your guy's room."

"It was quite the shit show." They both laugh and look at one another. They settle into a comfortable silence neither of them feeling the need to continue their conversation. The sun would be up soon.

'He's married and your boss,' Meredith reminds herself.

'You're married and you're her boss,' Derek reminds himself.

-x-

"Hey," Addison says to her husband as she takes a long sip of coffee out her mug. "Long night?"

Derek rubs his eyes as he reaches for her coffee mug. "Oh yeah, I didn't even get the chance to grab a few hours of sleep in the on-call room. How was your night?"

"Oh it was uneventful. I came home and got caught up on my reading, and went to bed pretty early."

Derek doesn't respond for a few moments unable to focus on what Addison is saying partly because of his lack of sleep, partly because he can't muster up the energy to pretend to care. "Hm," is all is says in response, and hands Addison back her mug.

"Busy day?" Addison asks as she pushes the elevator button.

"Kinda, you?"

"Yeah." They step into the elevator. Addison begins to talk again. "I'm going to go out with Mark tonight, you want to come?" Addison asks, already knowing his answer.

"No, you have a good time." The elevator doors open and Derek steps out. "Have a good day, Addie."

"You too," Addison says as the doors close between them. She closes her eyes and rests against the elevator wall, unable to get last night out of her head. She composes herself and steps out of the elevator ready to start her day, already looking forward to her night.


	7. Goodnight

_**Author's Note: Sorry about the lack of updates, you know the normal excuses and the million and one single-shot fics running through my head. I'm fast-forwarding about two weeks with the timeline, love quadrilaterals and the tension that comes along with them take a bit longer than a day to develop. As always, enjoy and review.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. **_

Meredith sips her diet coke as her eyes scan the crowded lunchroom. It's been two weeks since she's started her internship.

Two weeks that seems a lot more like two months. Meredith has never been more tired in her life. She'd like to blame the job, but she knows it could very well be the fact that she and Derek went down to the harbor to see the sun rise three out of the past five nights.

Mark joins Meredith at the table, and interrupts her thoughts.

"Hey you," she says as she sets her soda on the table.

"Hello, Dr. Grey," Mark says, feigning seriousness, as he stabs at his salad with his fork.

"Dr. Sloan," Meredith nods. "Having a good day?"

Mark sighs as he rests his fork on his plate and leans back in his chair. "My day is going alright, but I'm completely exhausted."

"I know the feeling," Meredith responds.

"Oh really?" Mark laughs. "I hardly see you around here anymore."

"I'm around, you're the one that's been M.I.A."

Mark shrugs, "If only that was really the case. So Bailey has you back on scutt work?"

"Yeah, back to being a normal intern. I guess sleeping with the boss could only get me so far. Cristina's happy that I've joined her in her misery."

"You're enjoying every second aren't you?" Mark leans forward and resumes eating his salad.

"What can I say? I'm a masochist."

"We all are, you're not the only one in that boat." Mark replies not realizing that his words carry more weight that he intended for them too. His thoughts shift to Addison, and he tries to redirect his attention back to Meredith.

"You okay?" Meredith asks.

"Yeah, just tired."

"Well if you aren't too tired, or busy maybe we could grab a beer tonight, you know do the whole catching up thing. You can tell me about the new woman in you life."

Mark drops his fork. "What makes you think I have a new woman in my life?"

"Well, lately you've been tired, unfocused, and your inappropriate, pervey comments aren't as frequent. All things that lead me to conclude that you have a new woman in your life."

"Grey, you couldn't be more wrong."

"Am I?"

"Well I guess there is someone, but you could hardly call it a relationship or anything like that."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah," Mark replies leaning back in his chair, completely giving up on finishing his lunch.

"Good for you, finally making some attempt to move on."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing." Meredith says as she takes the last sip of her coke. "Nothing at all."

Mark begins to defend himself when Meredith's pager begins to go off. "Damn, I have to go answer this." Meredith moves to stand up. "Seriously I'm happy for you. If not tonight, we really should get a drink sometime."

"Definitely. I'll see you later Dr. Grey." Meredith smiles at him as she picks up her tray and goes to answer her page leaving Mark alone with his thoughts.

-x-

Addison walks down the cool, tiled hall. With each step her heel makes a clicking sound that echoes through the hallway. She knocks Mark's office door, softly, waiting for an answer.

She's been an adulteress for two weeks now, and she's still waiting for the guilt to sink in. It hasn't, and that in its self makes her feel guilty—Guilty about the fact that she doesn't feel guilty. Addison tries to silence her thoughts and remind herself that she thinks too much.

She always thinks too much, Derek used to tell her it was cute. Now he just tells her he's too tired to deal with it.

Addison feels a hand wrap around her waist, which causes her to jump.

"Damnit, Mark, you scared me!" Addison scolds as she turns to face him.

"Did I?" Mark asks mischievously keeping his hand wrapped on her waist.

"Yes." Addison pushes Mark away, and takes a few steps backward. "We're in public." She whispers softly.

"I know. I'm kind of observant in that way." He smiles and leans forward and kisses her just to piss her off.

"Mark," she hisses.

Mark kisses her again and pushes her against his office door. "What would you do if I decided to take you right here. Would you tell me no?" his whispers, hoarsely in her ear as he begins to run his hands along her sides untucking her oxford from her tailored skirt.

Addison feels herself give into Mark's touch, and silently curses herself for being so mentally weak. Mark makes her feel wanted, and loved, both of which she hasn't felt in a long time.

She weakly attempts to free herself from Mark's weight pinning her against the door, but fails as Mark begins to place small kisses along her collarbone. "Do you want to get caught?" She moans trying to hold onto what is left of her fleeting self-control.

"Don't you?" Mark releases his grasp on her waist and steps backwards, leaving Addison breathless against the door. She glares at him obviously quite flustered. "Are you still coming with me to the fundraiser tonight." Addison asks as she attempts to regain her composure.

"Always."

-x-

Mark shoves a file off his desk into his bag. He looks down at his watch and realizes he's running late. He hurries out of his office and waits for the elevator.

"Hey," Derek says as he walks up to him. "You're getting out of here early."

"Yeah, Addison has that thing she wanted to go to tonight, and I told her I'd take her."

Derek shifts uncomfortably. His own discomfort causing him not to notice that his best friend is avoiding his eyes.

The elevator arrives and the two friends step in. "I've been meaning to talking to you about that." Derek says, leaning against the wall in the elevator pressing the button for the main floor as well as the surgical floor.

"About what?"

"Addison. You're not blind, you can tell things are rough, and have been for a while now, and I just want to thank you for taking her out, and what not, it makes things, well, easier for us."

Mark feels a sinking feeling in the bottom on his stomach. He looks up at Derek, unsure of what to say.

"You guys will get through this," Mark replies.

Derek runs his hands through his hair. "You know, I'm not so sure about that anymore."

Mark exhales as the elevator reaches the main floor and the door opens. He sees Addison waiting for him in the lobby.

"Goodnight," Mark says as he steps out of the elevator.

"Goodnight," Derek replies his eyes meet Addison's. He gives her a small smile. The elevator doors close, Mark walks toward Addison feeling more guilt with each step he takes, but not enough to make him turn and walk the other way.

-x-

"You're being ridiculous." Meredith informs Derek, as they walk through the hospital parking lot.

"No, I'm not. It could happen, post-op patients need constant observation."

"And for that reason there are _other _brilliant interns, and doctor who are on-call that can provide this 'constant observation.'"

"But none of them are quite as brilliant as you, or any where near as humorous."

"So you want me to stay on-call so I can make you laugh," Meredith rolls her eyes. "Goodnight, Dr. Shepherd." Meredith and Derek stop walking as Meredith opens the door of her Jeep. "Go home, get some sleep. You're not even on call tonight."

"I know." Derek replies not having the energy to formulate a snarky comeback. Silence fills the cold, night air.

Meredith leans against the Jeep door and begins to feel a bit uncomfortable with the way he's looking at her combined with the fact that he's only standing a foot or so in front on her.

"Goodnight, Dr. Grey." Derek leans forward and kisses her softly on the lips before he even realizes what he's doing. Derek walks away from Meredith and the car. Meredith gives him a sad smile as she climbs into the Jeep.

"Goodnight, Dr. Shepherd."

-x-

Derek cannot escape his thoughts on his drive home. He had kissed Meredith Grey. He crossed the line that they flirted with so dangerously for the past two weeks. He cannot actually believe he had the audacity to cross that line.

He pulls into the garage and climbs out of the car. He looks down at his watch, realizing it's still early and that Addison would still probably be out with Mark.

He turns his key in the lock and walks through the laundry room to the kitchen. He checks the stack of bills on the counter, sticking a few of which in his bag.

He walks from the kitchen to the main foyer. He begins to walk up the stairs to his bedroom, relieved that Addison isn't home and that he has the grandiose, empty house to himself even if just for a few hours.

He walks down the hallway leading to the master suite running his hand along the walk, careful not to run it into the one of a kind painting that adorn the neutral painted wall. Addison always told him that he dirtied the halls because he was constantly rubbing them with his hands. He always rolled his eyes and ignored her. He knows you have to pick your battles, and lately he's chosen not to pick any, it's just easier that way.

He turns the handle on his bedroom door and pushes open the door.

Addison's head is thrown back in ecstasy, as she appears to be riding another man, who bears a sticking resemblance to Mark. Derek stands there motionlessly for a moment not able to fully comprehend what he's seeing and exactly what it means.

"Oh my god," Addison cries as she notices Derek standing there. She pulls the sheet to her chest. She moves out of the way allowing Derek to get a better look at the man who is responsible for his wife's pleasure. He feels a sharp pain in his side as he realizes the man is Mark.

Derek turns and closes the door behind himself. He walks out, the same way he came in, running his hand against the wall the entire way.

-x-

Meredith opens her front door and is completely taken aback to find Derek standing on the other side. His face is red, especially his eyes. His hair is disheveled.

"Derek…"

"I need somewhere to sleep." Derek pauses. "Please?"

Meredith opens the door further. "Okay."


	8. No, I haven't

_**Author's Notes: No long rambles this time. Enjoy and Review.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. **_

Mark poured creamer into his coffee. He stood over the coffee a bit hesitant to stir it, but rather watched the white liquid mix with the dark coffee. He feels like he's in a daze. Derek never came back last night. Addison told Mark he had to leave. He tried to protest but to no avail. Now, Addison won't answer his calls, and it is becoming very obvious that she is ignoring him.

'Perfect,' Mark thinks to himself as she finally stirs his coffee. 'Today's going to be a long day.'

He puts a lid on his coffee and turns to walk down the hall. He sees Meredith ordering her coffee and decides to wait for her. 'Maybe she knows where Derek went last night.'

"Hey," Meredith says as she takes the lid off her cup and pours in some milk. "What's up," she asks. She walks closer to him and notices that he looks even more tired than before.

Mark shakes his head as he sits down on a near by bench, taking a sip of his coffee. "Nothing at all."

"Well you look like shit." Meredith states blankly. She isn't trying to get a rise out of him, but rather let him know that he isn't fooling anyone. Something was very obviously wrong, and after Derek's appearance at her door last night she's dying to figure out exactly what happened.

Last night, she didn't try to get Derek to talk. Rather, she put clean linens on one of the guest room beds, and gave him a clean towel. She figured he'd open up to her when the time came. For now, she is just trying to be a good friend—that's it.

"Have you seen Derek?" Mark asks nonchalantly, his eyes avoiding Meredith's.

Meredith shakes her head. "No, I haven't, not since last night."

"Oh."

"Mark, what's wrong?" Meredith asks now a little more than worried. "Is everything okay?"

Mark takes a long sip of his coffee. "Of course everything is fine. What would make you think otherwise?"

'The fact that you look obviously distraught and Derek showing up on at my house in the middle of the night,' Meredith thinks to herself but decides against saying it out loud. "Oh nothing you just look really worn down, kinda like it might be more than simply being tired."

"Oh," Mark replies his mind very obviously elsewhere.

Meredith stands up. "Well, it was great talking to you."

Mark rubs his face with his hand. "I'm sorry Meredith. We'll talk later, okay?" Mark looks up at her apologetically.

Meredith touches him on his shoulder. "Okay, later." Meredith gives him a sad smile and walks to the stairwell.

She pulls open the heavy door and slowly walks up the stairs.

"Meredith." Meredith snaps her head around to see who is calling her name—Cristina.

"I haven't seen you in a while." Meredith says, and begins to walk up the stairs next to Cristina.

"Not my fault."

Meredith rolls her eyes. "It never is."

"So what's going on?" Cristina asks.

"What do you mean?"

"Well both of the Dr. Shepherds canceled their surgeries this morning, and Dr. Sloan is walking around the hospital looking as if they are going to kill someone."

Meredith shrugs. "Hm, I didn't notice."

Cristina stops walking and grabs Meredith's arm. "Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"You're a bad liar, you know that, right?"

"And you're kind of a bitch." Meredith sits down on the step and Cristina sat down next to her.

"I know." Cristina says cheerfully. "So did you get caught sleeping with Dr. Shepherd, or Dr. Sloan?"

"Cristina!"

"No seriously, something happened and you know what's going on."

"I don't know anything," Meredith lies. Cristina narrows her gaze on Meredith. Meredith sighs. "Derek kissed me."

"Addison saw you?"

"No."

"Mark saw you?"

"No, no one saw."

"Are you sleeping with Derek?"

Meredith shakes her head no. "I'm not sleeping with anyone."

Cristina rolls her eyes, and notices Meredith open her mouth to defend herself. "Whatever, I don't care. If you didn't get caught in bed with someone, what happened?"

"Honestly I have no idea, but there's one other thing." Meredith rests her head against the hard stairwell railing. "Derek came by last night."

"Then he kissed you?"

"No that happened earlier. Something happened last night, and he came by. He needed a place to stay."

"You've got to be kidding me. McDreamy is staying with you."

"Yeah," Meredith says softly.

"You're so about to get burned. You don't have any idea what's going on, but you let him stay with you. Bad move, seriously."

Meredith stands up. "I don't think it's that big of a deal."

"Your boss whom you have been playing little flirty games with is sleeping down the hall from you. The same boss who kissed you last night. The same boss who's having issues with his wife, and I forgot you slept with his best friend. Does he know about Dr. Sloan?" Cristina looks up at Meredith.

"No."

Cristina rises to her feet. "Yeah, that's what I thought." Cristina begins to walk away from Meredith down the stairs.

"What does that mean?" Meredith calls out after her.

"Oh, you'll figure it out."

-x-

"Take Mrs. Karim down to the CT. Page me when you get the results." Derek hands the intern the patient's chart. He turns and walks out of the room.

He pauses in the hall, and runs his hands through his hair. He walks towards the OR board, but turns around as he sees Mark approaching him.

He cuts down the hallway that leads to some of the surgical offices. Mark follows him down the hall.

"Derek."

Derek doesn't turn to face him. "Mark just turn around. I have nothing to say to you."

"I just wanted to say…"

Derek finally turns around, his face red with anger. "What that you're sorry you fucked my wife. Thanks man. I know I thanked you before for helping us, but when you help out, you do it all the way."

"Derek, this isn't what…"

"What it looks like? Mark we're beyond this. Did I, or did I not, see my wife on top of you last night? Let me guess it was the first time."

Mark drops his eyes to the floor. "That's what I thought." Derek pushes past Mark, in an attempt to walk away.

Mark stands there motionless; there is nothing else to say. Derek is walking away when he sees Addison's office door open. Addison walks into the hall.

"Derek," She begins. Derek all together ignores her and walks away. "Adulterous bitch," he mutters under his breath.

Addison breathes in heavily and looks down the hall at Mark. She drops her head, walks back into her office, and locks the door.

-x-

Meredith zips up her fleece as she walks out of the hospital into the cold night. She hadn't seen any of the attendings all day, and the hospital gossip cycle was going at full force.

Meredith stops at her Jeep and searches in her bag for her keys. Her head snaps up as she hears someone walk towards her car.

"Addison."

"Good evening, Dr. Grey."

Meredith looks down and continues to look for her keys. She finds them and looks back at Addison waiting for her to say something.

"I don't know what you know, but I figure I might as well ask. Do you know where Derek is, or where he's staying?"

"No, I'm sorry I don't. I haven't even seen him since last night."

"Oh, okay thanks." Addison says as she shifts her leather tote on her shoulder. "Well, have a good night." Addison feigns a smile and walks away.

-x-

Meredith pushes her front door open and walks towards the kitchen. She smiles as she sees Derek standing over the stove stirring a pot.

"Hey," she says, placing her bag on the floor.

"Taste this." Derek hands her the wooden spoon. He watches Meredith's reaction.

"mmm… I didn't know you cook."

"I don't. It's Ragu." Meredith laughs. "I can definitely boil pasta and heat up marinara sauce. Grab a plate. We can eat dinner, and I got us a movie to watch."

"Derek, you don't have to do this." Meredith says, walking toward the cupboard, pulling out two plates.

"You let me into your home, the least I can do is heat up some food."

Meredith shrugs. "Fair enough."

Derek serves them and they go and sit in front of the television. "What movie did you get?" Meredith asks.

Derek picks up the remote and starts the movie. "Old School."

Meredith laughs. "Classy."

"What can I say? I'm a classy guy. Besides, Owen Wilson's love interest kind of looks like you."

"Whatever." Meredith responds, as she resumes eating her pasta.

They don't talk for a while, but rather watch the movie. Meredith excuses herself and goes to put the dishes in the sink. Derek pauses the movie and follows her into the kitchen.

Meredith begins to protest. "No, you cooked, therefore I get to clean."

Derek walks over to the sink and turns the water on. "You can, at least, let me help."

Meredith narrows her eyes on him, "Okay, I'll let you help if you answer my question."

"Shoot."

"Why are you here?"

The smile falls from Derek's face. He turns off the water and leans against the sink. "Things have been wrong for a long time."

Meredith waits for him to continue but he doesn't. "What does that mean?"

Derek turns back to the sink. "I don't know."

Meredith picks up a disk towel and walks towards the sink. "You wash. I dry."

Derek smiles at her and turns on the water. He rinses the soap off a plate and hands it to Meredith. The wet plate slips from her hand and shatters on the floor.

"Shit!" Meredith bends down to pick up the broken plate. She picks up the biggest piece and winces in pain as one of the jagged sides digs into her palm.

"Are you okay?" Derek asks his voice full of concern.

Meredith stands up and runs water over the cut. Derek holds her wrist and helps her wash it out. He turns off the water and studies the cut. He runs his thumb along her palm. "It doesn't look too deep." Derek looks up to study Meredith's face.

"I'll live." Meredith jokes.

Derek looks at Meredith and before either of them know what's happening, Meredith kisses Derek. Derek wraps his arms around Meredith, allowing himself to give into the kiss.

Meredith ends the kiss first, jumping back. "I'm so sorry."

Derek swallows hard and exhales. "You don't have to apologize."

Meredith walks to the other side of the counter. "I should go to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight," Derek says as Meredith turns to go up the stairs. "Meredith?" Meredith turns around. "Thank you."

Meredith smiles. "No problem."

-x-

Meredith rolls over in bed, hoping that sleep would come soon. She couldn't silence her thoughts.

'Why did I kiss Derek? Why did he kiss me back? What is he doing here? Did he leave Addison? How is Mark involved?'

Meredith wishes she had an answer of sort, because right now things are just too confusing. A married man, her boss, is sleeping down the hall. She turns on her side and exhales audibly.

'So much for being rested tomorrow.'

Meredith hears the wooden floorboards creak outside of her room. She hears a soft knock on the door. She doesn't say anything, and watches her bedroom door open. She can feel Derek looking at her through the darkness.

"You can come in," she says.

"Sorry, I just… I'll go back to bed."

"No, don't worry about it. I can't sleep."

"So you too," Derek ask as he moves to sit on the bed with her.

"Yeah me too. So what's keeping you up?" Meredith asks in an attempt to make small talk.

"I can't sleep because I can't stop thinking about how much I want to do this." Derek leans closer to her and kisses her, long and hard.

Meredith pulls herself away, fight to keep some semblance of self-control. "Derek," she whispers.

"Sshh… Meredith." Derek leans closer and kisses Meredith again.


End file.
